Don't Let These Three Reasons Cause You to Give Up

I am THE BEST at starting new things -- the key word there is "starting" -- the finishing part is a different story. It's pretty easy to get me excited or motivated to make a change, or try something new. It's even easier for me to convince myself that I should give up. It's not that I never complete things (I have accomplished things that I am proud of), but I do often find myself giving up on goals that are important to me for the same three reasons. These three reasons affect everyone, no matter who they are or what they are trying to accomplish. However, not one of them is a good enough reason to give up on your hopes and dreams.

1. Laziness: At the core of my failed attempts to change is..........I am lazy. We all are in one way or another. No one loves to get kicked out of their familiar, predictable bubble of comfort, even if it's for the better. So when we set goals to implement a change, it throws our lives off and we are in a state of transition and uncertainty until we find equilibrium again. We can find this balance in our lives by either pushing through the rough patches and fighting our way through the hard days, OR we can just surrender to our laziness and go back to the way things were before. It's easy to see that when trying to make a change or when confronted with a new opportunity, laziness often wins out. 

However true this may be, it still bothers me that I might give up the chance to become better simply because I am too comfortable where I am. To overcome my laziness, I have to find motivation and strength to push through to a state of balance. This strength and motivation comes from different places for different people and in different circumstances, so there is no cure-all for laziness (wouldn't THAT be nice?). Although this is true, here are some examples that you might try the next time you are tempted to succumb to laziness.

• Find a theme song, a phrase, a picture, or a word that reminds you of your strength and of the reasons why you want to accomplish your goals. (This week mine has been the song "I Lived" by One Republic)

• Let someone else in on your goals -- especially someone who you want to be proud of you (parent, sibling, spouse, friend). The drive to not disappoint them can help you send laziness packing when it comes knocking.

• Keep a record of your little victories and successes. Whenever you overcome something difficult, or accomplish something, no matter how small, write it down and post it somewhere you will see it. You can take pictures, use a diary, or (my favorite) use sticky notes. No victory is too small to celebrate and to remind yourself that you can do hard things.

2. Fear: Fear can be cruel, crushing, and crippling. Fear will often keep us from even attempting to make a change due to the possibility of failure. Fear is my enemy, but the enemy of fear is courage. So, to overcome my fears, I have to find courage. That's a lot easier said than done -- there's no emerald city, or great and powerful wizard to run to. No, I have to find courage myself, and these three tools have helped me do that.

• Look at the possibility of success. Don't just look at the chance of failure, think of the scenario of success. "In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure." - Bill Cosby
• Have faith that your desires will be realized and your work will be worth while. Believe in yourself, recognize your strengths, and have hope that all will work out in the end.
• Recognize that failure is not fatal. Everyone fails, but those who succeed are those who don't let the failure destroy them. It is better to try and fail than to do nothing. 

3. Insecurity: It's interesting to me, how much I allow what other people do, to influence my choices and actions. It's almost like I believe that somehow because one individual is successful in his or her endeavors, then I can't be. Or I somehow convince myself that there are SO MANY other more qualified, more committed, more knowledgeable, etc. people that why should I even try? Poppycock! This kind of talk is self-limiting, self-destructive, and (most importantly) just plain out wrong. Everyone has something that is important, worthwhile, and unique to them. What we have to offer to the world, to ourselves, and to our families and friends is significant and meaningful.  However true this may be, feeling lack of self-confidence is still one of the hardest of the roadblocks to overcome. As my husband will attest to, I am often plagued with the desire to live on my own personal island, unaware of any other person in the world, and just focus on me and my life. Since this is option is currently unavailable to me, I am learning to cope. 

The following quote was given to me by my aunt and has immensely helped me to separate myself and my own distinct situation, from others. 

Unfortunately, there is no permanent fix to all these roadblocks, and as soon as you feel like you've overcome one, another pops up again. It's a constant battle, but it's also a battle worth fighting. Next time you feel like giving up on yourself, ask if it is for any of the above reasons. If it is, then find your motivation and strength, exercise courage and faith, and remember that you have value and self-worth separate from any other person or thing. I know that if you and I can do that, the sky is our limit and we will succeed.